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Church Politics and your Relationships

  • Monday, February 04, 2019 12:14 PM
    Message # 7145857
    Coriander Woodruff (Administrator)

    So the full tilt 4QF melt down has been holy hell on Mason and my relationship. Times that we would like to be cuddling, watching a movie, and generally connecting as a couple keeps being swallowed up in meetings, phone calls, FB threads, and conversations with each other about everything that's happening. We both keep saying "I don't want to talk about the farm anymore." and then we start talking about the farm again. We are both working through the stages of grief. It sucks.

    So I was thinking if this has been awful for us I bet lots of other people have been having some of these same struggles in their relationships. So I wanted to make a space where we could talk about ours feels, share ideas for ways to take care of each others mental health, and generally you know work as a community to get through this together. 

    Last modified: Monday, February 04, 2019 12:15 PM | Coriander Woodruff (Administrator)
  • Monday, February 04, 2019 1:30 PM
    Reply # 7146021 on 7145857
    Robin

    I know i’ve Found a lot of comfort in the fact that i’m not alone. That there are other people who are shouldering other components.  But, yeah, I resent the amount of time this has stolen from my studies and put me back in my schedule to complete my Masters of Divinity.  

  • Monday, February 04, 2019 8:53 PM
    Reply # 7146975 on 7145857
    Gator

    I hope to bring unexpected sunlight and not resentment at my privilege,  but this has been great for me.  I haven't felt this broadly, actively connected since my last year in the Starvin Artist. The combination of confidence in this cause and the workload of being attacked while building something beautiful is like cool water on my fevered ADD. I don't get peace inside my head like this very much.  My self control and focus are better than they've been in ages. 

  • Tuesday, February 05, 2019 10:15 AM
    Reply # 7147873 on 7145857
    Patricia Althouse (Administrator)

    Much love to you and your family, Gator!

    Hang tough, and know that I'm on your side.

  • Tuesday, February 05, 2019 10:36 AM
    Reply # 7147942 on 7145857
    Patricia Althouse (Administrator)

    Didn't realize Gator's note was part of a larger conversation!  Guess I'm still learning this site. :)

    But for my part, I and my house are now to the point of not talking about 4qf for days on end, and I like it. Every once in a while the subject comes up when there is new activity, but I expect that.

    My challenge is getting my internal negative voice under control because it sounds just like Orren.

  • Tuesday, February 05, 2019 4:32 PM
    Reply # 7148803 on 7147942
    Anonymous
    Patricia Althouse wrote:

    My challenge is getting my internal negative voice under control because it sounds just like Orren.


    -I feel this so hard. Mine started sounding like me a few years ago, but still says things like my old man would say. EMDR is great,  and I strongly recommend it for scrubbing off the fingerprints assholes leave in your head. 

    We have your back, too! Always.

  • Tuesday, February 12, 2019 9:33 AM
    Reply # 7159781 on 7145857
    David Nolan

    The impact on our children is something to think about too.  We still haven't really discussed it directly with Kelita, though she may have picked up tidbits from conversation that has happened around her.  At some point I need to let her know we probably aren't going to 4QF at all this year, except once to retrieve the stuff we left on our platform over the winter. 

    We already told her we weren't going for Drum n Splash this year, because we made other plans.  Knowing that there will be an alternate Beltaine, with a seed stone pull, will make it a lot easier. 

    It helps to remember that most of our friends & tribe will be in the same boat, searching for a new home while grieving over the pain and loss. 

  • Tuesday, February 19, 2019 8:18 AM
    Reply # 7172650 on 7145857

    All I can say is that I feel totally left out of a lot over this past year.  Don't want to share feels as they are very raw.  And as for mental health... I am still waiting for the punchline.

  • Saturday, March 02, 2019 2:41 PM
    Reply # 7195441 on 7145857
    Sally Klein

    Yes, Corey, there is a need to grieve and a need for a place to communicate about this.

    As one of the old crones who committed myself to the Stones in 1997, and attended most of the Risings until 2016 (that's almost 20 years, btw). I still grieve with real tears every time Four Quarters and the Stone Circle comes up.  I invested my spirit and my time and my resources to preserve the Land, create the Stone Circle and build the tribe.  It was my spiritual home and I lead others to it.  I trusted those  who asked for my support and dived right into the waters.  I proudly told others about events and festivals and the purpose that I was committed to and took my friends to do ceremony at the Stone Circle. I took a stand for the Land and acted on that commitment. I tried to purchase land adjacent to 4QF so I could live with the Stones.

    I feel so betrayed, I can hardly talk about my feelings without bursting into tears (which are flowing as I write this).

    As much as I love the tribe and sharing ceremony with the friends I made at 4QF,  It is difficult for me to come to events at another location and to try to celebrate moons and holidays, because I don't feel like celebrating at all.  I just feel like crying.  I purposely moved to Bedford County so I could be close to the Stone Circle and be here to help protect the Stones, the sensitive land upon which they reside and the principle upon which I thought the Stone Circle was being created - freedom of religion.  I invested my soul in the songs of the Stones, I cannot even sing them now.  

    It hurts my heart to even put these words in writing.  I feel so alone and so sad, that I have to keep to myself most of the time.  I continue to create my art, music and life without a spiritual home.  There is a huge hole in my spirit.   I send energy to the Stones and wait to hear their call to come home.  

    In perfect love and trust,

    Starflower*

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